Who are they to judge us?

We conceived, we nourished,

Who are they to judge us?

We took the labour, we took the stitches,

Who are they to judge us?

We slept nothing, nor did we care,

So who are they to judge us?

We give our days, we give our nights,

So who are they to judge us?

We give our love, we give our lives,

So who are they to judge us?

We are strong and we won’t care,

But they will still judge us.

We are daughters , we are girls,

We are women, we are mothers,

So they will surely judge us.

But we are willful and courageous,

Hence, they will surely judge us.

Give your best and believe the best,

Let them judge us.

Together let’s support the women,

Together let’s support the mothers,

Because no matter what,

We are the finest creation,

Hence, they will judge us.

Whether they believe or not,

But we are a blessing to them,

But still, they will judge us,

But still let them judge us.

But together let’s ignore them,

Because we are discerning,

So never let them bother you,

FOR THEY ARE NO ONE TO JUDGE US.

Tell me if you’re liking the small write-ups. Suggestions are always welcome.

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“You’re not a very good mother” so they say.

I am a woman, I am a wife.

But most of all, I am a mother,

But not a very good one,so they say

Because I don’t know what it is to be a good mother.

I am awake and I sleep a little,

I rest for a few, but that is once in a while,

I eat a little, but I cook a lot,

I feed appropriately,but not to myself,

I run a lot, but I’m still not thin,

I try to impart a lot, but not always get the best results,

I play with my Rockstar and he enjoys it too,

I stay home with him, but I know one day he will grow up and move out,

I love with all my heart, but I don’t know what is all of it,

I give my all to my family, but I don’t know what is all of it.

I stand by all for my family, but I don’t know what is all of it.

I speak a lot, but I don’t know who’s listening,

I write a lot, but I don’t know who’s reading,

My kid loves me, more than I desired, more than I imagined,

But somehow, it still never seems enough.

I am so dizzy because the world and it’s words has so much to say,

You’re not a very good mother”

Is what they say to every mother?

We have no ideal mother,

Who they approve of.

We have no role model,

Who we can blindly follow.

But all they say is You’re not a very good mother”

Still confused, and full of guilt,

I wish to know what does it mean to be “A very good mother“?

For I give my all

But still, so they say, I am not a very good mother!

A small write up that has been in my hearts since I became a mommy. I hope all of you relate to it. Also, let me know how has the world tried to change you in the comment box below

Us for our child- a father & mother’s harmony.

Living in an era, where more than wealth and success, people need more of security, confidence, support and self-esteem, parenting the future generation has become rather difficult than what it was decades back. Parenting now is not confined to problems like children not eating and not going to school, but it has advanced to raise children who are secure, courageous, independent & sincere. Parenting also includes inculcating moral values and ethics.

Parenting decades back was not so modified and specific like it is today. When the need for these values have increased to a no-end level, it has become very necessary for every parent to impart such values and such traits in the child.

Parenting being so crucial and demanding, it always becomes apparent and efficient when both the parents come together to give the best to the child. I always believe that when both the parents take up a single responsibility of raising the best in a child, the job becomes easier and the rewards more pleasing.

The pressure and the struggle become less on a single parent when it’s shared. Plus there is always a source of help and a shoulder to lean on when the days are not as you expected. On days when I am just overloaded with emotions and stress both physical and mental, I always ask the daddy to take charge of my Little Rockstar. This definitely gives me space to deal with myself and come back all in high spirits.

I and the daddy have shared our set of duties and responsibilities. We know our personal duties towards Little Rockstar and we make sure we complete them. For example- daddy teaches sports( because daddy’s a cricket champ) Mumma teaches pre-writing skills. This has made our jobs easier and more rewarding.

Not only this, our family has come together in the strongest possible way. We together are strongest and the best. Because a mother and a father’s harmony is the best source of parenting.

I and daddy took an unsaid oath the day we got to know I’m pregnant and it goes like this ”together we will do all it needs to raise a happy, healthy and an independent child. Together we will battle all the struggles and together we will make a happy family for it’s only us for our child”

What were you and your partners unsaid promises when you became parents? Share them all in the comment box below.

Take ”TIME-OUTS” for yourself, you mommies!

A bunch of hours to oneself, without any hassle or work becomes a dream to every mommy. Overlooking personal needs and desires add to the list of daily sacrifices and tasks. Often, we as mothers, subconsciously feel selfish taking out time for ourselves and leaving the little one with someone else. But the fact and the truth of motherhood & parenting is a time out from all the daily chores and mothering the loves of our lives.

A time out that means to relax & rejuvenate your mind and your body. A dedicated ”me-time” timeout is very important to maintain the existence of a mother as a woman as well as a mother. Being a mother is a never-ending 24*7 job of being available to child’s calls, demands, needs. It is only possible to be doing the level best to a job, that’s so asking, is when a mother is happy. Only when a mother is internally happy, content, relaxed the family will be happy and its best. This makes a mother’s job rewarding, satisfying and delightful all at the same time.

Learn to relieve yourself.

Nothing in the entire world will change or get damaged not even child’s growth and development if a mother takes her timeout from her responsibilities for a while. In fact, it makes the mind more apparent and precise. Moreover, a human body and a human mind require mental peace and mental relaxation more than anything. So mommies, please listen to your body and your mind. Give it the rest it asks and never ignore the body instincts.

Happy mommy, happy family!

The source of strength and the source of happiness in the entire family is a mother for no one can love the family like her. If the mother is happy the entire family remains well and happy. If the mother is confused and frustrated the entire family will be less satisfied unstated and discontented. So power mummies, make sure you, your body, your heart and your mind are all happy. This will ensure that your family is at it’s happiest.

I’m sure all the mommies reading this want to know how to spend their me time and make their me time worth it, I’ve written a post completely given to this topic. Here’s the link

Stay-at-home-mom. What do they do the whole day?

~~A POST FILLED WITH LOTS OF HUMOUR~~

I am a stay at home Mommy. When people listen of it I’m sure half of them will think of my job as a dream job wherein “I sleep all day, chill all day, play with my baby all day, and simply live a dream Mommy life”. Not just that but also “I don’t even worry about the whole world”. Doesn’t this sound like a blessing? Yes! It does. But it would be a real blessing if I were blessed with a Mommy life like it.

So, what actually a Stay at home Mommy does apart from parenting? Read the following–

~Start your morning with a COLD tea/coffee/green tea/lukewarm water which is heated 1+ times. ~you smell of pukes,pees and poops. Also burps, no matter you use Calvin Klein or Mariah Carey. ~ Your music library consists of lullabies, rhymes and animal sounds.~ Your me time night outs will only mean oiling your hair, taking a box of popcorns and Netflix. ~ You are on an auto-pilot mode of getting up-brushing-pooping-cooking-cleaning pee & poop- feeding-making the children sleep- household chores- cleaning-cooking – cleaning- playing and all of this * infinite times. ~ You feel like an obedient and a neat adult once you wear your stainless pyjamas. ~ When your better half is back, you will find stupid excuses to hand him over the child and find a few minutes to yourself. Like going to pee N number of times. ~ Your on a competition with the man of the house for who has more hair on their legs. ~ Your only luxury is food. You eat your meal plus the one that’s left from your child’s meal. ~ A proper bath with exfoliation and moisturising creams is a dream which falls true once in 6 months. ~ Your cupboards have gained more gravity than any apple on earth because once you open the door, you will see 20 other clothes falling down. This is not because of ample of clothes this is because of organising them happened ages back. So this is what happens to me all day and this is what I do all day, tell me you all about what you do at home as a stay-at-home mom’s or a stay-at-home parent in the comment box below

Benefits of hands-on parenting to a hands-on parent – a motivation to all the hands-on parent.

What could be better than spending a lot of quality time with your child? Or what could be better than seeing your child grow up every step of his life? What better than growing up with them? What better than just be around your little bundle of joy and be his best friend? I’m sure nothing in the world or the entire universe can match the happiness that a child gives a parent. The happiness is so intense that a parent will oversee all the hurdles and the pain it takes to give in all of themselves to a child.

Discussing the hurdles of hands-on parenting in the last series of my blog, today let’s start with a little motivation for all the hands-on parents. Stating and elaborating the benefits of hands-on parenting –

1. Transforms relationships between the parent and the child

When the child is given all the attention, they often seem to be at their happiest. The tantrums and the mood swings will be gone when a parent takes charge of it with their presence. Playing with a child has always been more than a gift to them. They will jump in joy and happiness just to see their parents playing with them. This deepens the bond between them, this increases the understanding, this increases the empathy towards the Child’s feeling. Hands-on parenting can really transform a relationship to a best of it’s kind.

Little Rockstar and I always manage to spend a quality play time and a full of laughter cuddle time daily. This literally changed the importance for me in his life. Today he looks up to me with eyes blooming with love and naughtiness at the same time. No matter how much my entire joint family entertains him, he always understands to give us( me and him) a little time at the end of the day, because he is the attraction of the entire world that time. This has been my strongest motivation in the entire journey of parenthood.

2. Heals wounds and fears.

When parents are present with the child while he is scared or is worried or is hurt, the child feels safer. Giving full attention to this situation helps the child to open up about what hurt him, what scares him and what worries him. The reason might be small or big but for the child, it is always serious. And the only people who can solve it are his parents. Parents who begin to give quality time often observe that a child begins to share about things which even they didn’t know existed. Hands-on parenting eventually works on the child making his parents his life long supporters. Not only this but as a parent, being with a child makes them more aware of the child’s strength and weakness and eventually lesser fears about children.

Once my entire family was playing with Little Rockstar and his toys, I was around too and I noticed that he was uncomfortable and refrained from going besides the family including his daddy. Immediately I went to him and made him sit on my lap and tried to hug him and just talk normal things, and after a while, I asked him ”what happened? Why don’t you want to play? All of these toys are favourite” he immediately stood up hugged me and pointed his finger at a peacock feather that was beneath his toy bag which was scaring him. I tried to go beside it and remove that fear and today he can play with that feather for as long as he wants. No one could see this even after playing for so long.

3. Care and love from the child

Ever heard of elders saying ”kids have the purest heart”. They are not at all wrong. Children give back all the love and care to the one that gives them all the love and care. Children cannot see the parents in pain or crying. They will take up the charge and often come and hug and pamper the parent if they see something is wrong. No medicine can be better than just the care that a child shows.

Little rockstar can never see me in a heads down position. He will run to me and pull my face towards him and kiss me and hug me. And immediately all the pain and stress is gone.

4.Happiness and satisfaction

A child is more than a universe to every parent. Spending time and giving all of themselves and getting oodles of love and attention back from the child is every parents happiness pill. Nothing beats the happiness that a warm hug with “you’re the best” gives. Nothing beats the satisfaction of seeing that little bundle of joy holding his parents finger and peacefully sleeping gives. Nothing beats that goodnight kiss and a morning hug with those little hands. Nothing beats the satisfaction and happiness a child can give to his parents. So parents however hard it is to be a hands-on parent, never step back for the benefits may be few but they mean a lot, a lot more than anything else can. Have faith in yourself and just keep on doing the best you can. Love, support, power and hugs to all the hands-on parent like me.

Overcoming hurdles of hands-on parent – lack of results in children.(7/7)

The result is the outcome or a consequence of something. Results have been given a lot of importance in every field. Whether it’s parenting, development milestones, school, job etc, results have been used as a measure to derive the efficiency of efforts.

If the results are not appropriate it leaves the person and the guardian disheartened, depressed and discouraged. It’s not that results are a perfect measure but they are made one by people. It’s not necessary for results to be good to prove the development in oneself but it’s imbibed like it. The case gets stronger when it comes to parents who give in their level best for the kids. Lack of appropriate results leaves the parents under doubt, confusion and makes them indecisive. Taking last of the list, discussing how to deal when the child lacks results. Following are ways to cope with the same.

1. Accept child’s potential-

Understanding the child’s potential helps in keeping appropriate standards and expectations of the results. Every child is different and so is their potential. Accepting and working according to the potential always proves satisfying for the parent and the child.

2. Zero expectation.

Regardless of the potential of a child, it is always better to keep no expectation. Regardless of the efforts done it’s always better to keep no expectation. Keeping no expectation never discourages the child or the parent with the result in fact always keeps them motivated, charged and happier to see more results than expectation.

3. Appreciation.

Appreciation and rewards are a part of efforts to achieve something. This keeps the child charged, motivated and in full drive to work on something with the parent as well as enjoy the entire process. Understanding that whatever the result is, but the child is definitely learning something. Appreciate that. Indulge in treats and surprises as a part of appreciation and rewards.

4. Patience

Patience is the key. Children need time to understand, inculcate and learn things. Children need time to go through the process that’s absolutely new to them. Giving them appropriate time and keeping the patience in themselves is the best thing a parent can do to a child. Because every child is different and needs different time to learn.

5. Keep on trying.

Never losing hope, and trying repeatedly will definitely yield the fruits. Try try until you succeed is the quote that never went wrong with anyone.

So, guys, this is the end of the series of overcoming hurdles of a hands-on parent. Let me know if you guys liked this and also what next do you want me to write in the comment box below.